Don't Hold Me Down
by polaricecat
Summary: Emma has a thing for holding Regina down.


**Title: Don't Hold Me Down  
Word Count: 2,300~  
Rating: T  
Summary: Emma has a thing for holding Regina down.**

**A/N: Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Emma has a thing for holding Regina down.

Sometimes Emma just wants to wipe that smirk off the brunette's face and replace it with a look of fear. It's petty, Emma knows, but she still can't help the satisfaction she gets when she walks up behind Regina and says her name loudly. The jump of fear, the startle, the quick retort always has Emma on edge. And goddamn if she doesn't love it.

So when Regina invites Emma over late one night to '_talk about Henry_,' Emma is quick to accept. She's been waiting for this, waiting to catch Regina off guard, and she will do this tonight. Emma knows she's becoming a predator but _god_ how that thrills her. Finally she knows she can one-up the mayor, shut her fussy mouth and finally undo that last button on those damn silk shirts. Yet when she approaches the big white house, she is unexpectedly struck with apprehension. Everything is touch-and-go with Regina, Emma never knows what to expect. And so when she opens the door, it is not Regina who is flustered, it is Emma.

Like too many times before, the sight of Regina momentarily stuns the blond. Once Emma shakes herself out of her stupor, the mayor is smirking and Emma glances down at the brunettes body. And if that doesn't phase her then Emma doesn't know what will, because Regina is wearing _jeans_ of all things and she looks so _normal _and all Emma wants to do is rip them off and push her up against the door and run her hand through the brunette's hair and -

But she can't. _Remember,_ she tells herself, _that's Henry's mother_. Yet a voice in the back of Emma's head reminds her that she, too, is Henry's mom and that has to mean _something_.

"Are you coming in, Sheriff?"

God, that _voice_. Emma's fucked, that's for sure. If Regina's goddamn voice can make her that flushed and that aroused (along with thoughts of doors and walls and couches and beds), then Emma really has to do something to gain back her control. Because it's all about power when it comes to the seemingly unflappable mayor. And Regina seems to hold that over Emma's head, how she's _better_ than Emma, how she has more _taste_, more _elegance_, like any of those things even _matter_ to Emma. But Emma just wants to be better than the brunette for _once_ in her life. And that opportunity has been presenting itself for a few days and Emma hasn't done anything about it yet. She needs this though, like any person needs sex or drugs or alcohol because she's come to think of Regina as an addiction. Yet it's gone too far for Emma, she's loosing control and she just wants to be able to have the upper hand for once.

So when Regina walks into the kitchen to grab two glasses from the higher cabinets, Emma is quick to follow after her. _Light footsteps_, Emma thinks. She is a wolf and Regina is a deer. Emma knows it's sickeningly animalistic, yet she continues on, coming up from behind the brunette.

"Need help with that, _Madame mayor_?"

Regina freezes, her breath catching in her throat and it thrills Emma. She's so close to Regina and Emma's heart is beating faster then she had ever though it could. She moves closer to Regina, pressing her entire body against the brunette's, watching as Regina's eyes flutter close with a murmur of "Emma…"

And that's when Emma loses it. She knows she should treat this with care, because what she feels when she's with Regina is something she's never felt before, yet she can't stop herself. She's never been able to be completely at ease. It's too hard, so she loses herself in a roughness that she knows she will ultimately regret.

She grabs Regina's hands, which are almost white from clenching the countertop in anticipation, and brings them together behind her back. Emma gently scrapes her teeth along the exposed part of Regina's shoulders, and it's almost _loving_ the way Regina moans. Emma moves from her shoulders to her neck, then to her ears, switching between the roughness of her teeth and the gentle caress of her tongue.

Regina's breath is coming short now and she moans Emma's name again and tries to get out of her grip to turn around. But Emma won't let her. Because that means Regina would have the upper hand. _Emma_ has to be the one to turn Regina around, and she does so roughly, kissing Regina so hard and so passionately that Regina almost cries out. Teeth clash together and Emma thinks she tastes blood. She holds on tight to Regina's arms yet the brunette is wiggling and has stopped kissing her and - _what_? Emma realizes that it's now turned into a struggle but she refuses to let Regina go and her hands are clamped so tightly around Regina's arms that the brunette cries out in pain.

_And just like that_, Emma thinks, _I've won_. But Emma doesn't let go. She likes seeing Regina like this, she likes seeing the rough fear that rolls across the brunette's face in waves. But then something happens. Regina's eyes close and her breath is coming short and she's whimpering _Emma, Emma, Emma_ over and over and - are those _sobs_ she's choking down? Under Emma's unwavering grip Regina is falling and falling and Emma's loosing her to memories. And neither Regina nor Emma knows how to pull the brunette out of her past. And _fuck,_ if Emma knew Regina would react this way she _never_ would've come over because she can't stand to see Regina in so much pain. All she wanted to see was a little loss of control, and this was the only way Emma knew how to do it. But Regina wasn't snapping out of it and her eyes were squeezed so tightly and as soon as the tears began running down her cheeks, Emma, eyes wide with shock, bolted.

She exited the kitchen, needing to get away, needing to leave the confusing emotions behind. She turned left and opened the first door she saw and _Thank God_, she thought. _It has a lock. _Emma saw it had a pristine bed in it, surely never slept in before, and figured it was a guest bedroom. She gingerly sat down on the bed, her eyes still wide and her hands clenched at her side, fingernails making deep indentations in the palm of her hands. What had she done?

Emma had pushed her little game too far and then she just left - W_hat I always do_, she thought bitterly. Emma had left the brunette crumpled on the ground fucking _tears_ and Emma just ran away. Her body aches with guilt because she can't believe she pushed Regina that far. She had caused someone she cared about to have a serious panic attack. Green eyes went wide and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. _Cared_ about? Emma Swan didn't do relationships, and she certainly didn't care about those that she had sexual relationships with.

But with Regina it had been different. It had been electrifying, and all of a sudden Emma remembers the days when they were actually cordial to each other, they didn't fight. And that's what Emma realizes she misses the most. Since Neverland, they haven't spoken but Regina has been distant. Emma _loathes_ admitting it but she just wants some goddamn attention from her. And even though that makes her feel like her son's age she can't stop thinking about how she just hurt the brunette. Her eyes and her chest heaving with sobs and her painful murmurs of _Emma Emma Emma_... and all of a sudden Emma is out of the bedroom and barreling down the hallway and the dam she's hiding behind breaks and she can't help the sobs that force their way out of her. She walks into the kitchen and - _Shit_, Emma thinks. She's _really_ fucked things up this time because Regina's on the floor with her back against a cabinet, her arms wrapped around her legs. And when Regina looks up and whispers her name, Emma falls to her knees and can't stop the sobs from breaking out of her. Her blond curls cover her face and all she wants is to be closer to Regina and she's so _fucking _ashamed of herself and what she did and how far she pushed Regina. She hears a gasp from across the kitchen and shuffles as Regina makes her way over to her. She anticipates a slap or a shove or even harsh words, but it takes her by surprise when Regina gently puts her arm around Emma's huddled body. And that only makes Emma cry harder because _fuck it_, she hasn't let herself cry in the longest time so she might as well let it all out now. Yet it makes her feel so guilty because _she_ was supposed to be comforting Regina, not the other way around. But Regina just pulls her closer and whispers that everything is going to be all right. And through her hazy mind Emma thinks that Henry was so lucky to have Regina as a mom. And that's the last thing she remembers thinking before a cloud of purple engulfs the two women. And Emma, exhausted and emotionally drained, loses consciousness.

* * *

Emma is woken by the quiet turn of a page. She moans softly, clutching the soft down comforter closer to her. Her throat hurts and the weak attempt to open her eyes hurts and _what in the world did she do last night?_

All of a sudden it hits her and she jolts awake, frightening Regina. The brunette is propped up against the headboard with reading classes on, a thick book clutched to her nightgown-clad body. And Emma doesn't know how it happens but it's like the floodgates open and her eyes fill with tears and all she can do is bury her head in her hands _again_ and apologize over and over to Regina.

"Emma dear, look at me." Regina says fondly. Emma takes a shuddering deep breath and removes her hands from her face.

"Regina, I -" Emma starts to say but the brunette cuts her off.

"No. I know that you're sorry. I'm not going to make you feel guilty because I know you're beating yourself up about it more than I ever could."

"But Regina you don't understand. I -"

"No." The brunette cuts her off again. "I'm not done." She closes her eyes for a moment and then reopens them. Emma is shocked at the amount of sincerity resting within Regina's gaze. "It's not ok Emma, what you did to me, but I forgive you." Regina takes Emma's hand, moving her thumb against her knuckles. "God Emma, you scared me last night, and it just brought back so many memories…" Regina trails off, squeezing her eyes closed. Emma feels another stab of guilt because she's so ashamed of her actions and she cannot believe she let things get that far.

"Regina…" Emma whispers, because she's speechless. She doesn't know what to say, how to console the beautiful brunette on the verge of tears in front of her. But then Regina lunges at her and Emma flinches, _flinches_ like Regina would actually hurt her after what happened the night before. Yet instead of a stinging slap, all Emma feels are soft lips on hers and it takes her a few seconds to actually realize what is happening. Because she's kissing _Regina Mills_ and Regina is kissing her _back_, and all of a sudden she can't think because Regina is everywhere; filling her heart, her soul, and Emma doesn't know why they haven't done this before. But then Regina pulls away and the harsh reality of the preceding events come hurtling back at Emma so fast and she just wants to curl up with her guilt because she hates that she made Regina feel so scared.

"Regina…" Emma whispers brokenly. "I'm so, _so_ sorry."

Regina bites her lip, but nods in acceptance of the apology. "I know Emma, I know."

* * *

Emma used to have a thing for holding Regina down.

She'll always be wary of her touches, the pressure of her fingertips on Regina's skin, or the weight of their entwined hands. She knows she'll always harbor some guilt, but as she feels Regina curled into her body as they fall asleep together, she can tell that the mayor has let go of her fear. Emma makes Regina feel worshiped, and Regina does the same to Emma. And for once - in both of their lives - they have found an equal. Through trials and tribulations they have found someone that they do not need to be better than, that they do not need to one-up. Because those days are over, Emma thinks fondly. And she's definitely not proud of how their relationship started, but she knows, with all of her heart, that she is in love with Regina Mills.

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**I loved writing this, so I would love to hear feedback. Let me know what you think.**


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